Walking Away
by Lynnlee22
Summary: Billy/Phyllis Phyllis isn't playing the game.
1. Chapter 1

There it was—the sound that used to make her eyes light up, the thing that used to make her heart beat faster with anticipation, the thing that now seemed to almost always signal bad news. It was like some sort of omen, like a tangible dark cloud and she found her steps always got slower as she neared the cell phone on the table. She took a deep breath before turning it over in her hand, the message on the screen over a slightly different version of the same old song and dance. Tonight's version…

 _ **Billy**_

 _ **Caught up with the kids. Be a bit late. Sorry. Xoxo**_

It wasn't about the kids. She didn't begrudge him any time spent with them. As a parent she knew all too well how fleeting time was and she understand his need to spend every moment he could with them while they were young enough to need and want his presence in their lives. It wasn't about them at all. It was about the constant tag-a-long with them, the seemingly innocuous mastermind behind all of this.

She poured another glass of wine and slowly took a sip as she leaned back into the inviting cushions of the couch. She was stuck…in the worst way. If she bitched about him not being here, she sounded jealous of his children. If she bitched about Victoria, she sounded jealous of her. Neither was technically true. She wasn't jealous. She was tired—tired of the games—tired of the struggle—tired of the constant manipulations.

It was a game she knew how to play. In truth if a fight was what Victoria wanted, she could certainly give her one, but she didn't want to—not anymore…not with this. It wasn't about that. This was different. This mattered…at least it did to her.

Phyllis brought the glass back to her lips, finishing the contents of the glass in one quick drink. She stood, grabbing her phone and throwing it into her purse. If this was going to end, for once it would be on her terms.

* * *

Victoria glanced up towards the window the glow of headlights streaking through the pulled curtains. Quickly she walked towards the door, mindful of what she assumed would soon be sleeping children upstairs. Her breath caught in her throat when she saw Phyllis' purposeful stride towards her door.

"Phyllis," she breathed, her eyes locking on hers. "What are you doing here so late? You really should have called, you know. I have children and this is their bed time."

"You also have a nanny that I'm sure is handling all of that," Phyllis huffed, pushing past her and into the living room. She waited until she heard the door close to add, "Not to mention Billy who has become a permanent fixture here." The smug smile that played on her face was almost enough to make her want to scream, but she took a deep breath instead, promising herself a stiff drink when she arrived back home.

"Yes," Victoria said softly, allowing her eyes to drift towards the stairs. "Billy is here. He's their father. This is where he should be. It's where he wants to be. I didn't ask him to come tonight. He came on his own."

"Which of your children did you suggest to call him this time?"

"I'm not sure what you're implying. I don't have to suggest anything to Johnny or Katherine. They miss their father and they ask to see him and I'm certainly not going to keep them from talking to their father because it makes you uncomfortable."

She bit her lip hard, her insides seething. "You know very well that this has nothing to do with the children. This is about you. It's about you wanting Billy here and not with me. If it wasn't Johnny and Katherine, it would be something else. It would be an issue with Reed or something with Brash and Sassy or a problem with something at the house—it would be anything to get Billy to be spending time with you."

"That's ridiculous."

"You said it," Phyllis spat, her eyes flashing at her. "I just want you to know that even though Billy may actually believe this simpleton act you've got going, I see right through you. I know this game. I'm not particularly proud of it, but I've played this game and I'm better at it to be quite honest."

"Better at deceit and manipulation?" Victoria smiled, "Oh, I absolutely believe that. You're much better at that than me…let's face it, you've had far more practice."

"So you admit that's what this is?"

"I didn't admit anything. You think whatever you want. The truth is it threatens you that Billy would rather be here with his family than home in bed with you."

Phyllis smiled, feeling relieved for the first time in weeks. Even on the ride over she'd felt herself questioning her decision and she couldn't help but wonder if, in the end, she'd be able to do it. But now, as she looked around, as she saw the delusions being created in this house, in the eyes of the woman in front of her, she knew she'd never been more right to make this move.

"You know what, Victoria—you might be right." She watched as her face changed, her eyes flickering with a mix of shock and confusion.

"What?" she stammered.

"I think you're right. I think it does really bother me to think that Billy might want to be here instead of with me. I think in the back of my mind I do wonder if he worries he made a mistake…if he feels like he's abandoning his family and his children to spend time with me. I wonder if he feels like he has to make a choice between his children and me. It shouldn't be that way, but for some reason that's the way it seems and I don't want that for him. I don't want that for Johnny and Katherine. I don't want that for me."

Victoria stood, silent, unsure of what to do or say. Never, in a million years did she think she'd hear these words.

"So, that's why I came here tonight. I just wanted to let you know, you don't need to send him home to me. He's a free agent. I'm done. If he wants to stay here with you for the next fifty years, that's his call. I'm out."

"So you're admitting that you can't compete with this?" Her eyes still stared, wide and full of shock, "You can't compare with what Billy has here?"

Phyllis smiled at her. "Oh, no. I'm not saying that at all. I could compete. I'm just choosing not to. See…I care about Billy and I don't want to make this into some kind of stupid game. I actually want him to be happy and you're intent on making him miserable if he's not here with you, so I'm walking away. I'm taking the loss on this one. I'll be fine, but Billy wouldn't be—not without his kids." She started to move towards the door, then stopped, turning back to face her. "Just one more thing. Know this…you didn't win, Victoria. It was never a competition. I was never playing your game. Billy is yours by default. Billy wants his children and he'll do whatever he has to in order to be with them. You're just…well, you're the free prize with purchase." She smiled once more. "You have a good night."

* * *

"Did I hear voices down here?" Billy asked as he walked down the stairs. "I would have come down to check but Johnny would have made me start the book all over again."

"Yeah," Victoria sighed, "You did, actually."

"Everything okay?"

She smiled brightly. "Great actually." Her eyes followed him as he reached for his coat.

"That's good." He pointed over towards the clock on the mantle. "Listen, Vic I'd love to hear all about it, but I really can't right now. I've got to get home. Phyllis was expecting me a while ago and I'm already seriously late. She's going to be furious and I…." He stopped… "What? What's that look for?"

"Actually, I don't think Phyllis is going to be expecting you tonight," she said softly, "That's the voice you heard down here earlier. Phyllis was here."

"Phyllis was here? Tonight? Why didn't you tell me?"

"She didn't come here to see you. She wanted to talk to me. She came here to talk to me actually."

Billy drew in a breath. "About what?"

"Well, about you..about the you and the kids…about you spending so much time here." Victoria opened her mouth to speak again as she saw the look of guilt on his face.

"Damn it," he whispered. "I should have called her. I know I should have."

"Look," she stepped closer to him, touching his arm gently. "It's ok. Actually, I think it's more than okay. I talked to her and I think she understands now."

His eyes narrowed. "Understands what exactly? What did she say?"

"She says she gets that you want to spend time with your kids. She says she doesn't think you'd be happy without them in your life and that she doesn't want you to feel like you have to choose between spending time with her and spending time with them."

"I don't have to choose," he said slowly, already feeling the dread creep up inside him, "This is temporary. We're just doing this separation thing for a little while. In time, I'm going to start spending time with the kids with Phyllis. We've talked about this, Vic."

"Actually, I don't think that's going to be happening. Phyllis said she's walking away. She wants you to be with your family. She thinks that's where you'll be happiest and she wants that for you." She smiled broadly as she looked up at him. "So you see, Billy. Everything's worked out. You can come home now." She pulled him towards her, wrapping her arms around him and hugging him tight. "We can be the family we always should have been."

* * *

Phyllis walked into the apartment, slamming the door behind her. Tears streamed down her face as she stomped over to the counter and poured scotch into the glass, downing the amber liquid quickly. The slow burn was far better than the searing pain that ripped through her.

She walked over to the couch, laying down and drawing her knees up to her chest. It should have been easier since she had chosen to walk away, but it still hurt just as much. She pulled her phone from her bag, sitting it on the table in front of her. Now, of course, it was silent.


	2. Chapter 2

His hands pressed firmly against her shoulders, forcing space between them. He swallowed hard as her blue eyes stared wide into his. "Vic," he began, his throat immediately drying out again. "I…"

"What?" She blinked, stammering a bit, "Oh, I know…I'm sorry. You're right. Maybe it is too soon to talk about moving in already. I'm just happy to know we can get back to being a family…like we were. We can pick up where we left off. We were in such a good place, Billy. The kids were so happy and I really felt like we were getting to a point where we were starting to rebuild some of the trust we'd lost. We can get all that back now."

"How long has she been gone?" Billy ran his hand over his face, his mind reeling as he tried to put together the fractured pieces of the night. How was it possible that everything had fallen apart in the span of a few minutes?

"Who? Phyllis?" Victoria shrugged, "I don't know…fifteen, twenty minutes maybe?" She shook her head, reaching for him again. "But it doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is getting our family back and we can do that now…starting right here…right now…right this second."

"Vic, I…."

"We need to talk about what we're gonna tell the kids," she said quickly, the smile never leaving her face. "We might want to wait before we tell them anything about you coming home. I mean, we just don't want to build up their hopes too high just yet." A trace of regret spread across her face and she quickly spoke to correct herself, "Not that I don't believe it's going to happen because it is…it will this time. I know it. I just want to make absolutely sure before we tell the kids. I don't want to disappoint them…not anymore." She took a deep breath, looking up at him. "They're gonna be so excited, Billy."

"Vic—We need to talk about this. I think you're…."

"Maybe we could take a trip…something simple…just for the weekend or something…we could go to the beach or the lake or maybe just to an amusement park. It would be nice to get away and it would be a good way to get the kids away so that we could have some interrupted time to talk and answer their questions and explain things and…"

"Vic!" His voice rang out louder than he intended and he immediately glanced up towards the stairwell, his eyes closing for a moment, hoping against hope he hadn't disturbed the children sleeping upstairs. "You've got to stop talking. I need to say something."

"Oh," she breathed, a slightly shocked expression on her face. She looked away. "You're right. I'm sorry. I haven't really given you a chance to say much of anything, have I? I've just been going on and on…Please…go ahead."

"It's just.." He sighed. "Vic, you know I don't want to hurt you. That's never been my intention and I've gone out of my way to try and make sure I was doing everything I could to be here for you and the kids, but I think maybe that was my mistake. I think maybe I've been given you the wrong impression."

"The wrong impression?" She laughed nervously as she ran her hand through her hair. "You've been here for your children. You've been a loving and attentive father. That's the only impression I have of what's been going on. Is that wrong?"

"No. It's just…You said Phyllis told you that she was done, that she wasn't going to make me choose between being with her and being with my children."

"Yeah, that's what she said Billy." She stood up, clenching her fists as she paced across the room. "She wasn't exactly thrilled that you were here tonight…that much was obvious and I don't think she likes feeling like she's not at the top of your list. Phyllis is never going to be happy playing second fiddle to anyone. That's just the fact and as long as you're spending time with Johnny and Katherine that's time you're not spending with her and…"

"But see it isn't. That's just for right now. Phyllis and I are together and eventually Johnny and Katherine will be spending time with both of us…together." Billy stood, walking and standing in front of her, his eyes staring into hers. "You get that right?"

"According to Phyllis, you are no longer an 'us'. She said she's done. She told me not to send you home to her. She said you could stay here with your family. She said this was where you belonged, Billy."

"I will always be here for Johnny and Katie. I'm their father and that will never change, but this isn't my home, Vic. This isn't where I belong and if Phyllis thinks it is, well she's wrong about that." Billy walked towards the door.

"Billy." Victoria walked quickly behind him, reaching out and grabbing his arm. "I'm telling you exactly what she said. She told me she was done…she was finished. She wants you to be here. What part of that do you not get?"

He sighed, shaking his head. "I don't have time to stand here and try to convince you," he said softly, "I've got someone much more important to talk to."

* * *

Phyllis walked back to the couch, placing the paper box on the coffee table in front of her. She held the lid in one hand as her eyes roved over the contents in side. It wasn't much, just the remnants left behind from a few overnights—toiletries, an undershirt, a t-shirt, a ratty pair of jeans, and the watch she'd found shoved into the couch cushions. In reality he might not even miss them if she'd tossed them all, but she'd never be able to simple discard them and keeping them seemed like a exercise torture too masochistic even for her standards.

She let the lid hover over the top for a moment, feeling as if the placing of the lid was somewhat symbolic—as if somehow it meant she was truly finished—it was really over—she was honestly moving on. The knock on the door startled her and the lid rattled to the floor. She lifted her foot, stepping over it and walking quickly over the door.

"Who is it?" she asked, her voice somewhat shaky as she glanced at the time.

"It's me, Phyllis."

"Damn it." She put her hand over her mouth, closing her eyes tight when she realized the words had actually been audible. "Just go, Billy, please."

"Phyllis, please let me in. I know you're upset and you have every right to be, but I really need to talk to you."

"I don't want to talk. I said everything I needed to say already. Didn't Victoria tell you?" She could feel the tears already building up behind her eyes. One look at him and every ounce of her self control would be gone. She'd never be able to say the words she'd said earlier while looking into those eyes. Those eyes could break her in a way nothing else could.

"She told me you came by and she told me what you said," Billy said softly, "but I need to hear from you. I need to see your eyes when you say it, Phyllis."

She found her eyes close even as he said the words, as if somehow he might be able to tell what she was thinking and feeling even through the closed door. "I've made up my mind, Billy. There's nothing you can do or say to change that."

"Maybe not, but there's some things I have to say. Phyllis, please. Just open the door…let me say what I need to say. Otherwise, I'm going to have to sleep all night out here by your door until you come out." He pressed his ear to the door, hoping to hear some semblance of a laugh. Instead, he heard the movement of a lock.

"Five minutes," she said, quickly turning her back to him as he walked in behind her. She gestured to the box. "I was going to bring this to Jabot tomorrow, but since you're here, you can go ahead and take it with you when you leave."

"If I leave…"

She turned, her eyes looking into his for the first time. "Billy….Let's not do this. We both know this is the best thing for both of us."

His eyes softened as he looked at her. "Why would you say that? What would even make you think that?"

She shook her head. "Because it's true. Victoria wants you back. It's a fact."

"And so what? Victoria gets everything Victoria wants? And I have no say in the matter? Who decided that?"

"That's not what I'm saying, Billy, but you have children with her and she'll use that to keep you tied to her and you'll always feel like you're choosing and it's not fair. It's not fair to them. It's not fair to you and it's not fair to me. I don't want to always feel like I'm keeping you away from your children and I certainly don't want your children to grow up and eventually realize that I'm the person that keeps you from spending all your time with them."

"That's not going to happen." He reached for her, sighing as she pulled away.

"Don't," she breathed, her voice breaking at the idea of it. "Please don't touch me."

"Phyllis. This isn't what you want. I can see it in your eyes. You don't want me to go."

"You're right. It isn't what I want and in a perfect world it wouldn't be the way it has to be, but if we keep going this way you're going to end up having to create a life with me that's separate from the life you have with your children and eventually you're going to grow to resent that, which will eventually mean you'll grow to resent me."

He shook his head. "You know what this sounds like? This sounds like my mother. Have you been talking to her?"

Phyllis sighed. "No. No I haven't, but you know what…maybe Jill wasn't all wrong about everything. I mean, she went about it in the wrong way, but maybe she was right about us. Maybe it never would have worked. Maybe it never could have worked."

"Alright…you've got to stop this. I need you to sit down here and listen to me." Billy reached for her hand, pulling her down on the couch to sit down next to him.

"Billy, we can talk about this all night and the end result is still the same because the facts don't change. I don't want to be with someone who can't give me their all and you can't because a part of you will always be with your children and your family…." He opened his mouth to speak, but she stopped him, raising her hand and continuing, "And I'm not saying that's wrong…it's not…You should be with your children. They're important to you. They love you and you love them and that's not the problem. The problem is I can't be part of that with you."

"Yes you can."

"No. Victoria has seen to that. She's created this choice and right or wrong it's the way it is and I'm not going to be the one to make you choose. I don't want to be that person and I won't be."

Billy shook his head. "Would you listen to me? My God you are stubborn." He reached for her, taking her face in his hands and staring into her eyes. "Don't you get it? You aren't that person. You aren't the one that's making me choose and I'm so sorry if I didn't realize it sooner or if I made you feel like I didn't value this or you or…" He paused, the words becoming jumbled in his brain.

"Listen. I can't control what Victoria wants, but I can control what I want and what I want is a life with you and that life will include my children. You're absolutely right—my family is incredibly important to me, but you're a part of that too. I told Victoria tonight that the kids would be spending time with us together and I meant it. I have no intention of having two separate lives. The only life I want is the one I share with you and my children."

"What if Victoria gets angry though? If she tries to alter your custody or…"

"I don't think she would, but if she did, we fight her. You and me together…there's no fight in the world we couldn't win." He reached out, softly wiping away an errant tear that escaped.

"You're sure about this?" There was still a glimmer of doubt in her eyes when she looked at him.

Billy smiled as he reached into his jacket pocket. "I thought you might be the type that needed a little something tangible to help you make the decision, so I made a quick stop on my way over."

There was fear in her eyes as she watched him. "Oh God, Billy…what did you do?"

He laughed a bit as he read her mind. "No…not that. I mean, one day….absolutely, but not now…not yet." The smile spread across his face as he saw the relieved look in her eyes. He pulled out an envelope and handed it to her. "Open it," he said softly.

"Chicago?" she grinned.

"Yeah," he said, with a smile, "Four tickets to Chicago. I figured we'd go down for a long weekend—you and me and Katie and Johnny. We can go to the aquarium, Lincoln Park Zoo, Navy Pier, Millennium Park…there's tons of stuff the kids will love it." He paused, smiling as he saw the smile on her face. "And it will give them a chance to spend some time with us…to get used to us together..to get used to us as a family."

Phyllis shook her head as she stared at him. "I'm not sure what to say to that," she whispered. "Victoria is going to be furious."

He pressed his fingertips to her lips. "Shh…Don't worry about Victoria. We can't control her or what she thinks or feels. If she wants to be bitter and angry, that's her prerogative. I choose to be here. I choose to be with you. I choose to be happy. What about you?"

She reached up, looping her arms around his neck and pressing her lips to his. "Easiest choice I ever made."


End file.
